Do you have abandonment issues? Why would you shoot a man?

Dating with BPD feels like trying to hold on to water. No matter how tight you grip, it slips through your fingers. One moment you're terrified they'll leave, the next you're pushing them away just to test if they'll stay. Why does love feel like both the cure and the poison? Well first, let's talk about what BPD really is. BPD stands for borderline personality disorder and it's a condition where one has difficulty regulating their emotions, suffers from high sensitivity to rejection, and usually experiences dysfunction in managing interpersonal relationships. We have a video on how to know when your partner might have BPD, so feel free to check it out. But that's only one side of the coin. When you have BPD and you're in a romantic relationship, there are a whole lot of problems that are not so easy to spot from the outside. Dating with BPD isn't just a challenge, it's a storm of contradictions. One moment you're drowning in love, the next you're gasping for air, convinced your partner will vanish. The fear of abandonment isn't just a symptom, it's a constant whisper in the back of your mind. We interviewed Magenta, who has BPD, about her experience with romance and well, she summarizes it perfectly. I suffer from abandonment issues all the time. I find myself always being worried if my special person is secretly getting tired of me. Quick disclaimer, we are not diagnosing anyone with BPD, nor are we here to romanticize the condition. Our goal is simply to explore the experiences of those navigating relationships while living with BPD, with empathy and understanding. BPD is a complex condition, drenched in extremes. You become very sensitive to stress in any kind of relationship. For those with BPD, love is both the anchor and the storm. This can cause them to have trust issues and negative feelings towards their partner easily after any kind of stressor. O'Leary, 2023, also mentions that relationship stressors can cause emotional dysregulation in those afflicted with BPD. A single misunderstanding can spiral into despair while a small gesture of love can feel like salvation. Magenta's words cut straight to the heart. When my mood changes, it can be frustrating because I can get so angry or too sad in just a moment. I know it's exhausting, not just for me, but for my partner. I get in a mode that I know is overwhelming for everyone. I hate it, but I can't help it. However, not everything needs to be a frustrating endeavor. It's the light in the chaos. People with BPD feel love with a rare electric intensity. It's a lens that can magnify beauty others might miss, too. Magenta glimpses this truth as well. I get to be a really sensitive person, so I can appreciate a lot of things in a way most people don't. It's like I find magic in normal things. A study by Bouchard and others showed that in about half of the studied couples where someone had BPD, both partners experienced satisfaction and tranquility in the relationship. O'Leary and others similarly found that BPD is often accompanied by a higher development of adaptive relationship skills. And when good coping methods were achieved, the relationships could be long-lasting and satisfactory. Therapy helps. Patience transforms. Being informed is crucial. But the real breakthrough comes when partners stop seeing BPD as the enemy and start fighting together. Magenta's plea cuts directly into the starting problem. They did not understand my insecurities, my jealousy, my mood changes, my need of constant reassurance. That I just wanted to be alone sometimes, but also feel loved and heard. Within the study by O'Leary, when couples showed openness toward discussing BPD, recognized negative patterns, and offered empathy to one another, their relationships strengthened and became manageable in the long term. In conclusion, dating with

Abandonment issues, I think that's about it.

Abandonment issues. I see a shrink once a week.

Abandonment issues, I see a shrink once a week

Guys, let's talk not about my fabulous top, but about abandonment issues.

"I'll leave you." "I'll put you aside." "You'll wake up and never find me." "I'll just disappear." This will cause the child to have abandonment issues, fearing that people they love will leave them because of who they are.

Here's hoping he doesn't grow up with any abandonment issues.

And of course, it's pretty deep in here but my abandonment issues are in every relationship